Category Archives: On My Mind

Procrastination Through Hard Work

Procrastination is putting stuff that you know you have to do off. We punish our procrastinating selves by calling us lazy, or stupid, or shrugging and saying that’s just what we do. There is more to it than that. When you find yourself procrastinating, stop punishing yourself, and start looking at what the problem REALLY is. For example, I have a business at www.metzlislight.com but I PROCRASTINATE, on it. Why? Because I can’t really pinpoint the niche of my business and it makes me feel silly. Is this business good enough? Would anyone buy my services? If someone does buy my services, will they find a good value in it? What makes me qualified to sell this? What if I have let my customers down? What if I get too busy and don’t have time for my kids?

Instead of stopping, and looking at my “real” concerns, I’ve been procrastinating. Through HARD WORK. I put a lot of time and effort, into learning new skills. I have taught myself basic web design, I can make awesome graphics on canvas, I have a successful Etsy Shop, I can teach you about SEO, I can market through Pinterest…  Did I mention I taught myself basic web design? Ive read books on Social Media Strategies (always use the same picture so people know for sure its you!), I’ve created a brand, I am the Captain of Teams on Etsy, I have found mentors to help me along.  Ahhhhhhhh. I have been WORKING HARD AND LEARNING LOTS. And procrastinating. Because the truth is that I have been working on all of those other skills so that I can NOT have to set up my services on my website and NOT have to put my business out there.

It feels good to be sincere. Im going to add more services to my site today. Im being silly. I am an AMAZING writing coach, and I know it. And now I’m feeling like a motivator too. So, whatever YOU have been procrastinating on – STOP IT. Exercising does make a difference, you can mend that button, pump gas in the car NOW, EAT THAT FROG!!!

Mind Your Own Business

In third grade, I had to sit next to Cesar Lopez, who I did NOT have a crush on. Cesar used to collect pencil shavings to sprinkle on my work and I used to add random periods to his sentences. We were both often in just enough trouble to stay on the teachers radar, but not enough trouble, to be trouble. One day, Cesar was at a special reading class, and I was busy, fixing his sentences. Ms. Nowell looked straight at me, and told me: “Mind your own business.” I was literally confused, I had never heard that phrase before. Was I in trouble? What was I supposed to be doing? I proceeded to start erasing my extra marks from Cesar’s paper, when it was snatched from me: “Mind your OWN business.” Ms. Nowell said again.

And for the rest of the year, Ms. Nowell told me to mind my own business over and over again. She would tell Cesar to mind his own business too, whenever he would pull my hair, or kick my chair. And that’s how life went for two and a half decades. I would hear: “Mind your own business.” and I would translate to: “Leave Cesar alone.”

When I finally figured out (at 30 something years old) that I had been translating mind your own business  WRONGLY for decades, I wanted to kick myself. Mind your own business is such a powerful command, I and had it all wrong. Mind your own business doesn’t mean to leave other people alone! Mind your own business has NOTHING to do with other people. Mind your own business means to pay mind to your own happenings. Take care of your issues. What’s your business? Well then go take care of it!!! Mind your own business isn’t RUDE, its a LOVE command. Mind your own business, just means to pay more attention to yourself.

School could have been so much more productive for me, if I had initially translated “Mind Your Own Business” to “Take care of your own work.” I laugh at all the times I was told to mind my business, so I sat there quietly, not wanting to disturb anyone who was working diligently. I don’t make that mistake any longer. I mind my own business now.

Now – GO MIND YOUR BUSINESS!!

I Make Delicious Beans

I make delicious beansI start off by adding hot water to my crock pot that is turned on high. I get 1 big pork neck bone (organic and antibiotic free) and add it to the pot. I sort my pound of beans on the biggest cutting board I have, laying them all flat so that I can easily see any pebbles and imperfections. I sort the (organic) beans and rinse them, then add them to the crock pot. I add half and onion and one large Chile Relleno Chile to it. After a while, I add some salt. My beans are delicious and they always come out that way.

But it hasn’t always been that way. My beans have not always tasted so delicious, that you can eat them in soup form, without adding buckets of lard to make them re-fried. I have been made fun for my beans plenty:

“I didn’t know beans could be al dente.” 

“Oh, you made black beans this time?”

Aren’t you Mexican?”

“Is this dinner?”

And, after finally starting to make delicious beans.

“Did your mom make these?”

I now make delicious beans so consistently delicious that I can make them for dinner, and nobody will cry. And this is why I’m bragging (yes- my beans are brag worthy) because I took this thorn on my side that was in reality very embarrassing, and I fixed it through perseverance and dedication. I laughed at myself, I made myself eat nasty beans, I threw away beans, I gave beans a rest only to try to cook them again, and then I conquered the beans. And my life is better for it. Life improvements don’t always come as clouds parting with the sun shining through them, and a big orchestra playing in the background while you smile in confidence. Sometimes life improvements are a minor as, dinner doesn’t suck anymore – because you learned to tame beans.

Know Your (The) Truth

Last week, after yet ANOTHER “we need to get healthy” talk with my husband, I fed my family fish and vegetables for dinner. It was delicious, and the kids gobbled it up. They ate that broccoli, zucchini, and couple of green beans with smiles, and even complained: “I only got one green bean.” I was a proud momma. My husband turned to me and said (something along the lines of): “See, the kids are eating like that because they crave more vegetables.”

Darkness and guilt filled my heart – I don’t give my kids enough vegetables and they crave them! The fiber, vitamins and minerals that they are missing out on, the horror! And then before I took myself over the edge, looking up food menu’s and recipes of foods I don’t like to eat because they have veggies, I tapped into my (the) truth.

The truth is that the kids gobbled up the veggies because I cooked them deliciously scrumptious in olive oil, salt, and butter, serving them just a little crisp, right before they turned mushy. And the truth is that my kids eat a lot of fruit, and vegetables. I feed them fruit with breakfast, as a snack, and with their lunches. I make salads, puree whole vegetables into their soups, dice them up into enchiladas and tacos. I serve them up whole and raw, and lightly cooked and all ways you can think of. I also have olive oil, pecans, and avocados in my pantry for healthy fats. Something else? I buy organic meats, and avoid GMO’s.

So why was I worried about “getting healthy” and why was I feeling guilty? Because I had lost sight of the truth. I let the fear I see on social media, through my husband, and on the news get to me. I took in all the statistics about kids who don’t exercise and who are overweight to heart – forgetting the whole time, that I am already part of the solution. I already feed my kids well and make them play outside. Im changing my language. My husband and I are no longer “getting healthy” we are now “becoming even more healthy.” The truth is that I already do a lot of things right, and you probably do too. Let’s celebrate that.

Men Are Capable Beings

MEN ARE CAPABLE BEINGS

A cross purpose, is when you say one thing, and do or believe another. Its your very own personalized manner of getting in your own way. Cross purposes can be eating cheeseburgers while trying to lose weight or refusing to use alarms when you are always late. Im guilty of many cross purposes like buying organizational tools and then losing them or leaving them in the car. I make up jogging routes so that I can lose weight, and then I don’t jog. I have made budgets only to break them, and I yell at my kids while telling them to be respectful of each other.

Its easy to see cross purposes in other people too, like when scrolling through Facebook and reading about how people want to “keep drama away.” That’s always funny to me, if you want to keep drama away, then stop entertaining, creating, and talking about drama. Its as bad as calling someone to tell them you’re never going to call them again. The best thing about cross purposes, is recognizing and clearing them. Here is the one cross purpose I have to clear around today: Men are capable beings.

I believe this. Men, like women, are human beings capable of love, respect, building intuition, caring for children, working hard, and figuring stuff out. Men are good friends, parents, siblings and children. Men are a worthy part of society, fun to hang out with, good looking, and beings of light. Deep inside my heart I believe this, but I have been (unknowingly – until recently) teaching everyone around me otherwise, simply by being part of a society that expects men to be stupid, uncaring, unemotional, and barbaric.

I laugh at the “dumb man” portrayed on TV, social media, and other advertisements, sometimes going as far as to remember similar things men in my life have done. I roll my eyes with other moms at “dad stuff” like playing rough, or throwing kids in the air, we shrug our shoulders as if to say “men will be men” or “at least they are around.” We also tend to get surprised when after a divorce the dad sticks around, in a full fledged manner. We get surprised when after parents break up a man stays a part of their childs’ life as much as the mom does. Why is that surprising? Its sad. As a society, after a break up, we only really expect men to be around some weekends and some afternoons. Lets change our expectations.

Let’s also stop “guys do that,” or even “some guys do that.” Men make up roughly half the population, so chances are that “some guys do that” is true, but only because there is so many of them!

Have you ever feel tenderness while looking at pictures of dads combing their little girls’ hair because “that’s so beautiful!” And it is, but its also, um, normal? I mean, if you have a kid, and the kid has hair, and you’re a parent, then brush their hair, right? But we, as society, with our stupid inability to create normalcy in good parenting situations swoon over men who do little girl hair. Its cute and all, but, have you seen MY hair? I thinks its pretty friggin swell that I can comb somebody else’s hair too! Swoon dangit!

I am ready to clear all of the beliefs that keep the men around me from being anything other than sane, beautiful beings, full of love. Sure, guys can still be guys, but lets not let that mean that they have to be or do stupid things.

Ignoring Great Advice

ignore great adviceA couple of weeks ago, while browsing mommy blogs on Pinterest, I found a theme in their writing: “In order for your house to always be clean, make sure to always finish what you started.”  was the general theme for the day. “If you only do half the dishes, then you’ll end up doing the dishes twice.” Was one of the many examples given to illustrate the point. That got under my skin. THAT’s ME!!! Im always doing dishes! Three, four times a day. Sometimes more. I was in heaven thinking about how I was only going to do dishes once, and then be done. The advice made sense. I incorporated the advice.

And the dishes got out of control. You see, instead of waking up and seeing a few dishes in my sink, and washing them – I left them. Why waste time washing a few cups, if I’m going to be packing lunches and making breakfast in a few minutes, and dirtying more dishes? Did I foreshadow adequately? Can you now picture me with a mountain of dishes that I now have to tackle – In one sitting – because that’s what the awesome advice said??? And not stopping in the middle either, because shoot – If I stop, then I’m just doing dishes twice, right?

That advice didn’t work for me. There is no mommy blog out there that is going to make washing dishes for five people without a dishwasher more pleasant. You just have to suck it up, or live in “happy service”, or buy a dishwasher, or make someone else do it. Sometimes great advice is just not so great – for you.

  1. Does the advice work for you?
    1. We are all made differently, so our solutions are different too. What works for your sister, does not necessarily work for you.
  2. Does the person you are getting advice from, live the life you want to live?
    1. Are you getting marriage advice from a person who has been divorced three times because obviously a person who has failed so many times knows what mistakes not to make?
    2. Remember, you are looking for advice on what to do. If you want to know what NOT to do – listen to your gut, if it churns in agony DONT DO IT.
  3. Is the person in a similar situation as you?
    1. Maybe I was being silly and getting dish washing advice from someone with a dishwasher?
  4. Is the advice outdated?
    1. Some things, never grow old. Other things do.
  5. Are you following the advice because its from your mom? Or your aunt who is always there? Or your best friend who knows you best?
    1. Mom is always right, just ask any of MY kids. But still, just because mom gives you advice, doesn’t mean its right for you, or you have to follow it. Sometimes all you need from mom are love and well wishes, NOT ADVICE.

Excuse me while I go wash dishes 😉

 

Spiritual Boost for HOT Days

Spiritual WorkMy island is in the middle of a heat wave, and its gonna get HOT here.  Everyone around me will be scorching. Perfect weather for spiritual cleansing work.

In the summer of 2015, I began a course on Unlimited Abundance, which I purchased through Mind Valley and is led by Christie Marie Sheldon. The program teaches you how to find limiting beliefs in your reality, so that you may transform them into something that is beneficial for you and those around you. A example of a limiting belief can be thinking that you have to work hard in order to get what you want. Well, its true, you can get where you want with hard work, but you can also get there with soft work, fun work, baby steps, and even cartwheels. Hard work is un-flexable, impenetrable, arduous, strenuous, exhausting, grueling, heavy, and a choice.

Something else the UA program teaches is tools. One tool is building a spiritual bonfire. This bonfire is meant for you to throw all the spiritual gunk you carry around into. Here is how you make one: You close your eyes, connect to the light by imagining yourself going 300 feet up in the air, and then you imagine a great big fire in front of you. This fire is a fire of love, and it is meant to burn away all of your pain, fear, sadness, or any other heaviness that lives in your body. I have been clearing lots of anger lately, and it feels good to have it burn away. You can throw people who are mean to you into the fire, and picture all the meanness and spite melting away. This fire is a special fire of truth, so only things that are not true can melt away. For example, if you throw yourself into the bonfire, the only things that will melt away are your fears, worries, insecurities, and stresses. Your beauty, your light, your inner shine stay behind and are even easier to see because all the other gunk is gone.

That’s my spiritual boost for you on a hot day. Embrace the heat, know that it is burning away all your fears and worries, and problems. Melt all the gunk away!

Thank you God for the beautiful weather.

Ride The Energy Wave

Ride the Energy WaveBefore I started to re-enact the crazy in my mother, I used to be my own person. One of my super powers was the ability to be around high energy, chaotic, dramatic, hormonal, often drug and alcohol raged people, while still being able to maintain my own energy field. I was teaching high school english to high schoolers who were “at promise.” Basically I was teaching “bad kids.” You know these bad kids, they drop out of school, get thrown in jail, have babies, and fall behind on their high school graduation track for some reason or another. Life can be very difficult for a 16 year old with a baby, a job, a dream, and the inability to add (and for the 14 year old “normal” kid who somehow ended up at this school and is basically in shock).

My biggest hurdle was teaching “drug class” a class full of teenage potheads who had no intention of letting cannabis go. One day after class was done, my mentor came into the classroom to ask me how I was doing. I was honest with him: I can’t teach this class anymore, being around a bunch of high people makes me feel high too. He looked at me funny. “You mean its annoying to be around students who are high and you feel like they should maybe not be allowed in the classroom, right?” No. That’s not what I meant at all. What I meant was that I was picking up on the energy that was being put into my classroom. The hyper kids gave me energy, the depressed kids sucked my energy, and the kids who were on drugs gave me a contact high. I was taking in their energy.

I blame part of energy transfer on the way the building was set up. It had no real windows, poor lighting, and inadequate ventilation. But thats’s a different story. My all knowledgable mentor then took me to his classroom. He showed me the gray walls, the bright colors, and the sage. He then taught me: have something that neutralizes them, have something that clears them, and have something that mirrors you. It was beautiful, but it was not enough. I just stared at him. Someone who has sage in their classroom ON PURPOSE, surely knows more. He did. That’s when he taught me to ride the energy wave.

Riding the energy wave goes something like this: before you enter any building, take it in. Its a good habit for all Californians have to have since it is necessary for us to be able to duck and cover and any given time, but this take it in is a little different. Take in the energy of the building and what is going on inside it. Then, grab your surf board, and go in. Your surf board is your protection, keep it close. In the mornings, paddle on by, and hang out in the low tide, paddling slowly, waving and smiling as you walk to your classroom. By mid morning, when students begin to show up, take on some high waves, its starting to get fun. After lunch, after students get fed frozen, deep fried carbs in packages, get ready, thats when most big waves come, hang on to your board and ride the wave. WEEEEEEEEEEEEE Enjoy it – its a magical surf board that you are riding and you can’t fall off. WEEEEEEEEEEEEE ride that wave all the way until the babes are about to go home. Then paddle on out of there again.

He was absolutely right. And it works with using a skateboard, bike, or off road vehicle instead. The basic of it is not to take in the energy of others, protect yourself and work around it. The energy of others’ is real, and you can use it to push yourself forward, tap into happiness, or any other positive thing that is available – but you don’t have to take it in as your own.

Drug class was chill after that. Riding the energy of the little stoners became more of a game, seeing if I could direct them towards SOME sense. And I stopped getting a contact high from them. Sometimes (lol).